tiny rant

My dad brought me an article to read tonight that was in our local paper. It was about infant sleeping deaths and how babies should not share a bed with their parents.

I think I've mentioned on this blog that Olive sleeps in the bed with us. It's so annoyingly taboo here in America and so accepted in other countries with fewer "experts". I'm frustrated because there is a safe way to co-sleep and an unsafe way. The people who do it unsafely have babies who die and therefore no one should co-sleep. That is the logic of the experts. Drunk, obese people roll over and smother their babies so that means that co-sleeping in and of itself is unsafe.

This is so smug of me...but what I don't get is WHY we as mothers have relinquished our maternal instincts for the sake of what experts tell us.

When I brought Olive home, I had a basinet for her. I put her in it. She was there for about 3 minutes and I took her out. She belonged with me. I made the decision to listen to that voice and so she sleeps with us. Danny is ok with it, if anyone is wondering (He actually informed me when I was still pregnant that Olive would sleep next to him.) :-)

I'm not trying to make a statement about what people should do. I honestly don't really care if people want their babies to sleep in cribs. I just happen to want my daughter in my bed with me right now. And I'm really mad that half truths about something that has been wonderful for our family is circulating as gospel truth.

For what it's worth, my mom has informed me she wishes she had us sleep in the bed with her. So there's some older, wiser feedback for you.

SMUG

smug
–adjective,
1.
contentedly confident of one's ability, superiority, or correctness; complacent

This is my new most hated attribute that I see in myself and others.

SMUGNESS. BLEGH!!!!

Weekend Ramblings

Jason and Brittany's wedding was one of the best yet. It's really not fair to the vocalists though to have the groom break down right before you're supposed to sing. Kyle and I made it through ok though. We sang "How Can I", one of the songs I was lucky enough to be apart of on Kyle and Jason's Words of Redemption ep.

Jennifer came and watched Olive for me at the church since Danny and I were both in the wedding, and everyone in our families was either in it or invited. She was a real blessing to us. Olive had a great day and slept beautifully last night, which tells me she felt secure and loved all day. I got to dance with Olive at the reception too, which was fun. Here we all are, cleaned up and dressed pretty.

I got a GREAT nap today that I desperately needed. Olive joined me about half way through. Danny was leaving and she was still awake when he brought her to me. She laid there for a few minute, then started squirming. I started rubbing her face and praying for her to go to sleep. Sure enough, within a few minutes she was out.

Danny and I are trying to figure out where to live. We found out about a house that might be available in Bryn Mawr that we can do a rent to own on, which is ideal for us at this point. I can't stop thinking about it. I dreamed about it last night and during my nap today.

Much to say

First, some things I'm sick of.

-I'm sick of being treated like garbage on the road when I drive the speed limit.

-I'm sick of being sick. I have a double ear infection and had the 2nd worse pain of my life on Tuesday as a result. At least I got some good drugs.

-I'm sick of passive aggression and attempts at manipulation.

-I'm sick of Olive waking up at 5 am. It's only happened once this week. But that's enough. Seriously.
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Second, I just wanted to say something I really appreciate about my sister as it relates to my role as a new mom. You know, when you have a baby, everyone wants to hold the baby, play with the baby, make the baby smile, laugh, etc. Courtney loves Olive a lot, just like everyone else in our families. But Courtney consistently validates my role as Olive's mother in an openly verbal way. As someone who has issues with feeling adequate, I need that. I need to hear someone say to my daughter, "Look at that big smile for mommy. She is your favorite and you love her so much." She does this ALL the time. Thanks, Courtney.
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Third. Chris Cauley preached at Eastpoint on Sunday. Two things about that. First, he told us that the word manna literally means "What is it?" I thought about the Israelites waking up every morning to collect their what is it from God. Their what is it only lasted a day though. And so the next day they were given new what is it. Kinda like what I should be doing. Waking up each morning and saying, "Ok, God. What is it?" Second, I was convicted to give Olive over to the Lord. Really and truly. Now, I know most people probably do this when their baby is still in utero or laying slimy on the delivery bed. But in recent years I don't do things because it's what I'm "supposed" to do. I do things because I'm convicted to do them. And Sunday I was convicted. Convicted to tell God what He already knew. Olive is His to do with as He pleases.
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Finally. I get to sing with Kyle Carden on Saturday at Jason and Brittany's wedding at RTS. And I'm pretty stoked about that.

Stick it to the man!

Because of my jewelry business Danny and I usually have to pay taxes every year.

A combination of factors has allowed us to not owe this year. I had extra taken out of my paycheck at work. We had Olive. Danny started working for himself. It's just glorious. I've been high as a kite since I finished our taxes at 10:17 last night. (Yes, I'm a procrastinator)

We didn't take the refund though, we applied it to next year's taxes. Mainly cause we're getting the economic stimulus money next month thanks to GWB.

WooHoo.

barf

I'm retarded.

I should know better!! I've already had a hard afternoon. What was I thinking?!?!

I just went and looked at a blog that continually never ceases to make me wonder if Jesus is coming back in the next ten minutes.

I remember one day I heard a bible study on slander. I honestly wish I would never have heard it. Because then I could go off on this blogger and their blog and not feel guilty about it. But every time I want to do this I remember that stupid Bible study and Jesus won't let me. Fine, Jesus. You win. But I'm not happy about it.

My jaw was on the floor for about 4 minutes tonight as the American Idol finalists sang Shout To The Lord. It was one of those things where you think you dreamed it and when you tell someone they're like, "yeah, like that would ever happen." It was surreal.

Speaking of dreams. I have had some whacko ones lately. Just to give you a glimpse. I dreamed I ran over Sam Waterston with my F250. I can think of a lot of other people I'd rather run over with my F250.

I also dreamed some weird dreams about Danny but to protect his innocence I won't go there.

Ok gooood night.

P.S. I don't own an F250.

Sick

I have been sick off and on for about 3 weeks now. I'm pretty pissed about it actually. I was getting better, then I started getting worse, then better, now worse. What gives? It seems to be just a cold. A neverending cold!!

Olive had sniffles but nothing really to write home about. I won't be one of those moms who is like "oh my baby has never been sick blah blah blah" Who cares? I will brag that she has started rolling over at 4.5 months old (like I had something to do with it!) The only thing is she HATES being on her stomach so she'll roll and get mad. Typical human thig to do I guess.

If you have Facebook you should add the Pieces of Flair application. It is super fun.